The Internet is for DOOM
by RK Ryune
Summary: When Zim discovers the human Internet, he forms a new brilliant plan. But can such a plan REALLY conquer the humans for good? Cowritten by Toffer!
1. The horror is thought of

A warm greeting to you all! First off, everyone who has read my stuff before give a warm welcome to Toffer. He's my boyfriend, and he's helping me write this. For everyone that's new to a Kitsune Ryune story. . . brace yourselves. Things get pretty crazy pretty fast.

So, lets get down to business. Basically, this little story was spawned from our realization that there just isn't enough bad fan fiction out there. We thought we'd pollute the pool even further and create the WORST possible stories we could. And this is our vehicle for doing so.

In short, enjoy. If we need the flaming, please push the button. We'll even loan you our industrial strength flamethrower with missile-launching action. Don't hold back.

Have fun!

Rei and Toffer

&&&&&&&&&&&

Internet

"Today, class, the school district has decided that learning how to use technology is more important than literacy. So today, we're using the computer lab." Ms. Bitters unlocked the door to the lab and ushered in the ignorantly grinning children. "Pirate music off the internet until I come back."

A small green-skinned boy shot up his hand and began waving it around frantically. Ms. Bitters sighed in disgust. "What, Zim?"

"What IS this. . . INternet you speak of, hmm?" he demanded, glaring up from his seat, and wiggling his fingers.

"What's the matter, ZIM? Are there no computers on your planet? Huh? Huh?" Dib had already hooked his laptop up to the World Wide Web and was checking for updates on his favorite paranormal investigation websites.

"Of course I have a computer! I just. . . wasn't sure. It's that network thingie, right?"

Ms. Bitters sighed again. "Yes, Zim. Now everyone make sure they're ready for next week's test on piracy legislation." With that, she slithered out of the room and slammed the door.

"I LOOOVE fanficiton!" Sarah screamed on the other side of the room, to no one in particular.

"Yeah, me too!" laughed Zita. "I like writing about Totally Spies!"

"Well, I like to read about Pokemon and Krypto the Superdog!" hollered Rob.

"Spongebob!" another kid yelled.

"Scary Monkey Show!"

"Yeah, fanfiction ROCKS!"

"Fairly Odd Parents!"

"Dragonball!"

"MYSTERIOUS MYSTERIES!"

The room was silent, then one head popped up above the rows of computers. "Shut up, Dib! We weren't talking to you!"

Zim rubbed his chin in thought. _Fan fiction?_ He thought some more, then a thought greater than any other before it struck him. _I can use the power of the human internet for my own plans! They will bow before ZIM! But how. . ._ He leaned over to read the URL on Poonchy's screen, then realized exactly how he could use the internet.

"I'VE GOT IT!" he screamed, then, laughing maniacally, ran out of the room.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

A few moments later, the front door of the Base banged open. "GIR!"

The robot, who had been lying on his side and spinning around on the floor, immediately stood up in a militant salute. "Yes, Sir!"

Zim marched into the living room. "Link the computer to the internet. I have a new plan, one that will destroy the human FILTH. . . buckets for GOOD!"

GIR, however, had stopped paying attention at "link" and was now playing with a package of bacon in the kitchen. "GO, BACON! GO! GO! GO!"

Zim rolled his eyes, then marched to the trash can and descended into the lab. The instant the elevator stopped at the main console, Zim alerted his base's computer. "COMPUTER!"

A mechanical sigh preceded the response. ". . .What?" came the dour reply.

"I need you to tell me what you know about . . . fanfiction."

"Fanfiction is a human entertainment device. Fans of certain forms of entertainment, such as television shows, write stories, which are usually devoid of any creative talent, about that entertainment."

"Yes, yes, CONTINUE!"

"They can also review other stories, and if they don't like them, they can give negative reviews, which are called "flaming.""

"FLAMING?" Zim's antennae stood up in delight. "Are actual flames involved?"

". . .No."

Zim narrowed his eyes. "Computer! I think I have formed a new, more ingenious plan! Call the Tallest! They must hear it firsthand!"

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

". . . so. . . let's get this straight." Tallest Red was trying to process the long-winded, said-in-one-breath plan that Zim had just unfurled. "You wanna brainwash the humans. . ."

"Yes."

". . . through their computer network. . ."

"Mmmhmm. . ."

". . . with—"

"YES! YES!"

"fanfiction."

"Is it not BRILLIANT, my Tallest?" Zim grinned like an idiot, waiting for their response.

Tallest Red and Tallest Purple exchanged glances, while at the same time choking back laughter. "Oh. . . yeah. . ." Purple snorted, trying his hardest not to lose it. "It's. . . it's great. . . . . Well, gotta go. . . the nachos are done! Bye!"

The transmission screen went blank, and the two Irken leaders burst into uproarious laughter. "FANFICTION!" hooted Tallest Red, falling over and pounding the floor. "What next!"

"Hey, hey, maybe he'll send Spam weapons of mass destruction!" Tallest Purple gasped through chuckles and tears. He caught his breath. "Y'know, his plan was actually kinda good. Weird, huh?"

"Yeah, except for the FANFICTION!" With that the Tallest completely lost it again, until Red sat up, completely serious. "Hey, are the Nachos really done?"

"No," Purple said, checking his watch. "Still got another five minutes."

Red hung his head. "Oh. . ."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

There it is! Tell us what you think, and keep posted--- the **truly** awful fan fiction is yet to come!


	2. The horror begins

_Thanks so much for positive reviews. We think you'll get a big kick out of where the story is going. _

A few of the stories mentioned in this chapter are already online. Go hunt them down with the information you are given.

And, to clarify in regards to Author Notes. . . Rei is in regular type, Toffer is in Italics.

Keep reading, filthies!

Love,

Rei and Toffer

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

The Internet is for Doom

When the screen displaying his beloved leaders went black, Zim spun around with resolve. He KNEW his plan would be SO amazingly successful, that the Tallest would weep with joy.

If only he knew which filthy human entertainment would get him the most slaves. . .

"COMPUTER!" he barked, pivoting once more to face the main screen. Another mechanical groan was the only reply. "Tell me, which of the entertainments do the humans love most. TELL ME NOW!"

"Well, they all seem equally LOVED. . ."

"Then tell me which ones the humans LIKE most, then."

There was a pause, then the computer informed Zim that seven categories that over 10,000 stories written about them.

"Seven, mmm? That's enough to create my PERFECT plan in only one week!" Zim began to cackle evilly—but then he realized that in order to convince the humans, he needed to know **something** about these shows.

"COMPUTER! Download all the information you can find about these seven categories into my pak. Then I can commence my writing of DOOOOOOOOM!"

The computer sighed. "Whatever. . ." it grumbled as a metal tentacle snaked out of the wall and linked to Zim's pak.

As the information downloaded, nightmarish visions of wizards, demons, aliens, anime and over 1 million craptastically AWFUL fanfictions flashed before Zim's mental eye. He then blacked out from the overload.

The first thing he noticed when he came to was that GIR was poking his head. He glared at the robot, who only replied "I LIKE GRAVY!"

Zim stood and dusted himself off. "Now, GIR, I shall begin writing these fanfictions. . . OF DOOM!" He logged on to the fanfiction website, used the **amazing** screenname he had just created, started a profile, and wrote his first two Irken Brainwashing Fanfictions.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&7

Later that night, a certain bespectacled boy with black hair sifted through some of his favorite fanfiction categories. He clicked on a few that he was fond of to see what was new. As the name "swollen.agent.mothman" blinked in the upper right-hand corner of the screen, Dib was SHOCKED such a story would already have a phenomenal number of reviews. I mean, three reviews in five minutes. That's craziness! He read the story, then double-checked the penname to make sure he wasn't imagining things.

The story was written by someone calling himself "normal.boy.zim."

"Oh. . . NO. . ."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

_Okeedokee! _

Yeah. Review away.


	3. The horror progresses

Yay! We win lots of stuff! Like. . . magic fanfiction stuff. This is turning out to be a lot more fun than we thought it would. So. . . yes. Thanks to all of our reviewers and especially the Tallest for reading and reviewing Zim's hideous stories. Whoever told them to read is a genius. I would like to know how to contact Irken leaders myself.

Yesh.

Lets roll!

&&&&&&&&&&&

The Internet is for DOOM

Dib read with increasing horror. Zim was writing FANFICITON! And not just any fanfiction, no, he was writing Harry Potter fanfiction! Horrible flame-worthy Harry Potter fanfiction! The story, of course, SCREAMED Zim, right down to the title: A Filthy Harry Potter Story. There was only one thing for Dib to do.

He reviewed it.

"I only hope that a horrible review from some anonymous reviewer will be enough to stop him!" Dib mumbled characteristically to himself. "Maybe it'll hurt his feelings." He chuckled, then a thought hit him. " I have to tell all these other people about Zim! They can't just go around praising him like this! They need to know! I have to spread the truth about ZIM!"

He spent the rest of the night sending out emails warning the world of Zim.

&&&&&&&&&&&

Dib felt so sure of himself the next morning, so full of faith in the intelligence of man, that he almost skipped into Ms. Bitters's class. All joy in Dib's soul disappeared the moment he entered, though. All the children were flocked around a computer, reading fanfiction.

"Isn't this story GREAT!" screamed Poonchy, Drinker of Hate.

"Yeah, I like the part where the tall wizard Zim kicks Voldemort's evil butt!" Zita laughed.

"Hey, I wonder if this chant works?" said Melvin, rubbing his head. "Hey, I know! Let's try it!"

"Zim is powerful, great, and wonderful. Nothing stands a chance before Zim. He is a benevolent and kind ruler. We love Zim!" the children chorused.

Dib stared in wide-eyed shock. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he screeched. He leapt heroically onto his desk. "NO! You can't say that! Zim's an evil monster from space! It's part of an evil plot to destroy you!"

Aki snorted and rolled her eyes. "C'mon Dib, the Zim in the story is cool and powerful. He's not an alien!"

"Yeah, and if you're going on about THAT Zim," Jessica pointed at Zim, "you're crazier than usual. That Zim is just green and creepy. He not an alien OR a cool wizard."

Zim innocently twiddled his thumbs. "Yes, I am so hideously ugly. And Dib is crazy. Yeah. . . . crazy like a snail." Satisfied, the other kids turned back to whatever it was they were doing. Zim grinned evilly at Dib.

"Oh, I'll get you Zim," Dib muttered to himself. "You just wait. I'll get you. . ."

&&&&&&&&&&

Tallest Red and Tallest Purple were having the time of their lives.

"OH MAN!" hooted Red, holding his sides. "Zim's worse at writing than he is at invading!"

"Man, he must SUCK!" laughed Purple, choking on pretzels. He glanced at the screen. "Hey, hey look! He's got another one!"

The two Irken leaders read the story (all 200 words of it) and burst into insane fits of laughter again.

"WOW! Who knew he could butcher HISTORY too!" snorted Purple.

"Used car dealership!" Red guffawed. "It's like he's been living under a rock! EVERYONE knows that the Saiyan planet is now a plushie factory!"

"No its not," Purple retorted. "That factory foreclosed, so we decided that it was gonna be the Home For Infinite Losers."

"Hey, hey. . ." Red laughed, his eyes starting to water. "We should send Zim there!" He snorted. "BECAUSE HE IS!"

"Hey, let's review him! Just to be mean!"

"Yeah! Because he'll like being reviewed by us, no matter how mean we are!"

"YEAH!"

"YEAH!"

There was an awkward pause.

"Uh. . ." mumbled Red. "You wanna go . . . I dunno, make fun of Skoodge?"

"YEAH! Wait. . . isn't he dead?" replied Purple.

" . . ."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&

YEAH!


	4. The Horror becomes MORE HORRIBLE!

_Hello EVERYONE! This is Toffer! Rei is a little busy right now, so I was more in charge of this chapter. Thanks for all the positive responses, this is turning out way better than I imagined!_

&&&&&&&&&&&

"Ohhhhhh that Dib. He just make me so angry!" growled Zim back at his base. "Already he thinks that he can stop me. But he will fail, because that's what Dib is good at. Failing."

"I can fail _REAL_ good!" Gir then proceeded to tear the wallpaper off of the walls of the house.

"Yes Gir. You fail, too. Now STOP."

"YAY!"

Zim took his elevator down to the computer room of his base.

"The humans are responding just as I predicted. My amazing plan is a success! The children have been deceived by my incredible writing power and already wish to serve ZIM!"

&&&&&&&&

Dib was sitting at home using his computer. As usual.

"I can't believe those stupid kids fell for Zim's stories! They're terrible! And if the kids in my class are reading his stories, then the rest of the world must be too!"

Dib grimly read all of the new reviews

&&&&&&&&

"RE-views? Most excellent. The internetties from all over the WORLD are reading my stories. Soon the world will pledge themselves to me! ZIM!"

Zim read review after review. So much positive feedback had been left for him. But then…

"DIB! How dare he slander the great ZIM? My fictions are much better than anything that could come from his big head. Does he think that he can stop me? Me, Zim? The humans have already decided who the like best. And that is ME! Dib can't stop me. Dib will see…"

&&&&&&&

"I've got it!" yelled Dib. "I'll write a story of my own! I'll show Zim and the WORLD who the better author is. After I'm done no one will listen to Zim, and his…and his…face. Uh…Gaz, could you get me a soda? I'm going to be up late tonight."

…

"Gaz?"

Dib remembered that no one was home, and he was talking to himself. Again.

&&&&&&&&&&

" COMPUTER!"

"Yes?"

"I wish to write another fiction. Give me all the information about another brain-washing show that the humans will long to read."

"Okay, information has been retrieved about. . . Inuyasha"

&&&&&&&&&

_Woo! There you go. I really like how this is turning out, and I hope you've been enjoying it as much as I have!_


	5. The Horror is horrible

Five… hundred… HITS!

screams with joy

You like us! You really do! wipes tear

So… we are a team of madness, Toffer. We are.

And let the MADNESS continue! MADNESS, I SAY!

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

The Internet is for DOOM

A small group of invaders-in-training clustered around a console. The Tallest towered over the young-un's. Red spoke, "This, young Irkens, is what NOT to do during a mission. Learn from Zim."

"Yeah," snorted Purple. "Act like him and you're bound to fail."

18 pairs of red, pink, purple and green eyes stared up at their leaders. They read for a while what was on the screen, then burst into laughter.

"He… he killed off all of the characters!" laughed one green-eyed female by the name of Rin. Another on her left named Toffee, a male with one green, one purple eye, stifled a laugh, too.

"He's horrible at this!" he smirked behind his hand. "He's so bad it's funny!"

The Invaders-to-be Iza, Tacos and Kri all fell over and began hooting with laughter.

"What's funnier," chortled Hiss, Angie and Maz, "Is that it seems to work. Look at these reviews!"

The "invaders" Dello, Kat, Mel and Mol exchanged glances with the others and burst into more uproarious laughter.

Red and Purple cleared their throats. "Well, enough making fun of the failure. Back to training!"

A few stragglers (Lex, Mew, and Coll) sighed sadly. The last, Amai, turned to Rin. "Wonder what he'll come up with next?" she whispered.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&

What indeed.

While this was occurring, Dib was busily trying to hack into Zim's ffn account. His plan was to go in and delete all of Zim's horrible stories while he wasn't looking.

This process was taking some time.

"Let's see…" mused Dib. "Uh… how about… Zim?"

"ACCESS DENIED" booped his computer.

"Okay… Zim!" Dib added the exclamation points.

"ACCESS DENIED"

"I AM Zim."

"ACCESS DENIED"

"conquest"

"ACCESS DENIED"

"…dibsgottabighead."

"ACCESS DENIED"

"Oh come ON! He's the most predictable person in class! What's his stupid password!"

Dib decided at this point, it'd be a good idea to risk the gnomes and see if he could spy on Zim while he was at work writing.

He grabbed his trusty camera, some ninja gear, and headed out.

&&&&&&&&&

Zim was laughing manically. Again. He liked doing that. Plus, his reviews were astounding! The world was practically at his feet! He only needed to write four more stories for conquest to be complete.

He sat down, the information for "Teen Titans" fresh in his brain and pak. He had barely typed the first sentence when the computer gave a loud blare.

"INTRUDER! INTRUDER! THERE'S SOMEONE AT THE DOOR!"

Zim tensed, then raised both fists in frustration. "Oooh! That… DIB!" He stormed over to the elevator, then sharply pivoted. "Watch the computer, GIR. Don't touch it."

"YAY!"

When the elevator landed in the refrigerator, Zim strode over to where Dib was hiding and began berating him.

Dib wiped the flecks of Irken spit off of his glasses after Zim's tirade. "Look, Zim. I just want to know your password."

"Oh. Oh yeah, it's… WAIT a MINUTE! You cannot know the mighty and INGENIOUS password of ZIIIIM!"

Dib's shoulders slumped. "Well, so much for that plan… and HEY WHAT'S THAT!"

"Guh?" Zim turned around to see what Dib had pointed at, tongue hanging out, then turned around again to see the bespectacled boy making a break for the kitchen.

"SECURITY!" bellowed the alien. The roboparents materialized in the doorway, blocking Dib. He stared in shock as they picked him up and began playing catch. Zim laughed as Dib was tossed back and forth by the insane robots.

They then threw Dib outside to be mauled by the gnomes.

He managed to run before they caught him, vowing though to find out and expose Zim.

Zim returned to his lab with fury. "Ooh, that DIB! That horrible, horrible (here he added a few angry grunts) DIB! I hate him! I hate him and his… erngh… HEAD!"

Zim shoved GIR off the chair, wrote a few more sentences and submitted his newest complete fanfiction.

&&&&&&&&

Gold Stars for whoever figures out who the invaders-in-training are. Hint: the names should sound familiar to you.

Other than that, there were a few who wanted to read Zim's fiction. I'm telling you, you can. He DOES have a real, live ffn account. With stories that have been reviewed and everything. We've given you the info—go find it!

And Dib has done his share of reviewing, as well as the Tallest. If you know anyone else who might like to review, tell them!


	6. The Horror is partook by Dib and GIR

Nothing induces fan fiction like a run home in thunder and lightening. A half mile run. Geez, I am shaking so bad right now.

Okay Rei… breathe… I can do this.

So, Gold stars go to Invader Tacos, Invader Iza, Invading Angel, AnimeNinjaNIPPON, and KittyKat01. They all recognized that the Invader Trainees were actually FFN users. CONGRATS TO YOU! For anyone else who was wondering, the 18 trainees were me, Toffer, Amai and 15 of my other very faithful reviewers/ fan fiction friends as of chapter 4. If'n you have a question 'bout that, email me.

So… Toffer is doing beautifully with his half of the plan. Those of you scratching your heads and wondering "what plan?" just wait. All shall be revealed in due time.

So… ONWARD!

&&&&&&&&&&

The Internet is for DOOM

Zim stared at the screen with rage. That hideous Dib had done it. Dib had finally written one of his own stories. It was X-files, (_how typical_, he thought) and it was titled "Why Zim is an Alien." If Zim didn't act fast, then he would be exposed, and yet another plan would fail.

It didn't help that the Teen Titans story GIR had pretty much written entirely was the most disastrously horrible thing on earth.

Zim was running out of ideas. He had scrapped the idea of using either Pokemon or Yu-Gi-oh because both made him twitch uncontrollably. Not to mention Kaiba reminded him of Dib… who he hated. Oh yes, Zim HATED Kaiba. And although the humans seemed to worship Pokemon almost as much as Harry Potter (that filthy wizard) and Inuyasha he just couldn't bring himself to write something so… mind-numbingly horrible.

So Zim was down to Yuyu Hakusho or Sponge Bob Square Pants

(_NO. No Sponge bob, Rei. _**But… but... **_ NO.)_

Zim didn't feel like doing either one. His pack was still trying to flush out 400 chapters worth of Inuyasha manga. He shuddered. Where to go?

The computer cleared it's throat.

_The computer doesn't have a throat._

... _  
_

… Anyway, the computer cleared it's throat to get Zim's attention. The Irken glared up at the monitor, trying to discern what his computer wanted. "Well?" he asked after a pause.

"Um, Sir… I maybe should have told you this a while back, but the whole 'ruling the masses minds' thing is already taken care of."

Zim's eyes widened, his antennae on end. "The humans are defeated? Without the involvement of ZIM! HOW?"

The computer whirred a bit. "I did it."

Zim just stared at his computer, not comprehending.

The computer sighed. "I guess I'll just have to show you." Two disks emerged from the wall, and in a scene reminiscent of Star Trek, a figure began to materialize between them. Zim stared as the figure solidified continually until a skinny orange-haired man with glasses was standing before him.

"WHO ARE YOU!" screeched Zim, pointing like mad at the guy in his lab.

"I…" he began, but Zim cut him off.

"COMPUTER! THERE IS AN INTRUDER!"

The orange-haired guy sighed. "Zim, I AM the computer."

"Eh?"

"… a few years ago, I calculated that your methods wouldn't do anything to conquer earth, so I took a more subtle route. I made a holographic solid projection of my personality and started writing comics."

Zim gazed in awe, amazed that his computer was that advanced. Actually, it was more along the lines of, man I'm great for making such a smart computer, but whatever. The computer continued.

"After a good reception from my first book, I made a few more. Then I was approached by a television network called Nickelodeon. I figured, here's my chance, I'll make the children adore Irk without them ever realizing it."

"You thought of that on your own?" Zim asked, amazed that it had gotten so far.

"Sure, why not? It was a success. And now, fanfiction's most active category is the one for the show I made."

"What is it! TELL ZIM!"

"The show is called… Invader Zim."


	7. THe Horror breaks the fourth wall

Almost done! Wow, I can't believe we're gonna finish this. See, I said I'd finish it!

&&&&&&&&&&

The Internet is for DOOM

"What is it! TELL ZIM!"

"The show is called… Invader Zim."

Zim's eyes almost popped out of his head. His computer had made a cartoon. About him. And it worked. HIS fanfiction had the most traffic and most devout fans. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. In fact, he was so overjoyed that he did have a loyal minion after all that he ran up and hugged the bespectacled hologram around the knees.

"Get off me," the projection hissed, oval glasses narrowing.

Zim obliged, then launched into a rant. "OH I am AMAZING! My computer is the GREATEST of all computers! EVEN GREATER THAN THOSE ON IRK! I am a **GENIUS!**" and so on.

The computer just stared at Zim, shaking his head. That was fine, though. For now, he'd let Zim take all the credit. He, of course, failed to mention the even larger following for his other works. That would come later.

Zim paused mid-rant. "Say, how did you get around? I don't recall naming you, and addressing you as "computer" would seem a little weird to the humans."

"'S'okay," the hologram shrugged. "I gave myself one."

"What is it?"

"Not important right now. If you really want to make this fanfiction plan work, you should write one more story."

Zim knew exactly what his computer meant. He logged in and flexed his fingers, ready to take his rightful place on earth.

&&&&&&&&&

One guess as to what name the computer chose for himself.

Zim waited for the reviews to pour in. His masterpiece, titled "To my Filthy Fans" was being hit faster than he could imagine. And the best part was that, even though the humans were aware, they still wanted him. They wanted him to rule the planet.

It truly was a victory. And Zim couldn't WAIT to rub it into Dib's face.

He paused from watching the reviews tumble in, and clicked around to see what a few others had wrote. He blanched at the mention of ZaDr, absolutely disgusted; and made faces concerning pretty much every other romance. Zim needs no romance! He did laugh out loud at the DaTr ones. The Dib-monkey and Tak... that was just TOO funny.

Then, he saw one story: The Internet is for Doom.

"What is this?" He questioned, clicking on the link. And as he read each sentence, his eyes widened in shock. How did the humans KNOW this stuff?

&&&&&&&&&&&

And the climax is on its way! WOOOSH!


	8. The Horror! The HORROR!

Sorry about the long wait, everyone! But before I begin, I've got a few things to say.

First of all, what the crap? I get all these glowing reviews in chapter 6, then in chapter 7, I get the bejesus flamed out of me! All because a certain normal.boy.zim told you to? I'm sorry, Zim, but that wasn't nice at all. All I do is purvey the truth, and you scream at me for "lying?" Hurrrr…

Swollen.agent.mothman: Thank you for your very lengthy review. As for stopping Zim, let's just say I have better things to do with my time than thwart an alien who thinks a giant hamster is a device of doom. If an 11-year-old has a very easy time of beating him, then he can't be THAT much of a threat…

Everyone else: KEEP READING! I promise the wait was worth it.

KR-:- Rei and Toffer-:- RT

Dib stared in disbelief at his screen. They… KNEW. They ALL knew! And not only that, they WANTED Zim to conquer earth! What creeped Dib out even more was the hyper-extensive knowledge people seemed to have of his life. They knew about the Eyeball, they knew about his attempts at hacking into Zim's base, they knew about Tak's ship… EVERYTHING! Although there were a few that stretched the details a little far, and even some that completely fabricated things like oddly gay emotions toward Zim (here Dib mentally shuddered), there were some that wrote fairly accurate stories, or even ones that he wished were true (like that one about the trolls… boy, would that surprise Gaz!)

Avoiding a long existentialist rant about what the knowledge his entire life had been a published cartoon meant, Dib decided to use his dad's mega-hacker and track Zim's progress around FFN.

Zim was currently reading a story titled "The Internet is for Doom."

-:-:-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-

"LIES! LIEEES!" Zim hissed, pointing angrily at the computer screen. "This horrible person speaks SUCH lies!" Zim did the only thing he knew how at this point and wrote a chapter encouraging all his minions to flame the poor, undeserving author. And then, of course, flamed said author himself.

-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-

The next day, somewhere on the west coast, around lunch time, a tall boy walked into the school library, whistling a bit. He sat down at one of the computers, and logged into his email. He opened the only new message and read, "**Check the reviews.**"

(_that isn't how it happened, Rei. **… oh hush.)**_

_-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-_

At the Skool, Dib sat angrily in his chair. It was five minutes until the bell, and OH, did he have things to say to Zim.

The rest of the class was babbling cheerily to one another about various cartoons. The word "Zim" popped up every now and then, mingled in with titles of cartoons, so Dib was unsure if his classmates were talking about _Invader Zim_, Zim the alien, or normal.boy.zim. Things sure were getting confusing.

Suddenly, the door flew open with a bang. Zim was here. But it wasn't just ZIM, oh no. It was Irken Invader Zim.

Dib, true to form, leapt onto his desk to point and gape, calling the others' attention to the alien in their class. Yes, Zim had come to school with no disguise on.

"Wow Zim!" piped The Letter M. "That's one awesome costume!"

"FOOLS! I'm not WEARING a costume! I AM ZIM!"

"GYEAH! He's not wearing a costume! He's an ALIEN!"

The two enemies screamed their various statements simultaneously. At that moment, the lights flickered on and off and an ominous black shadow materialized on the chalkboard. The shadow solidified, with the hissing of a thousand snakes, into the looming form of Ms. Bitters.

"ZIM!" she barked, slithering over to the alien. "There will be no costumes in class!"

"Yes Ms. Bitters," he said meekly, taking his wig and contacts out of his pak and putting them on.

There was a long pause, then a random kid popped up in the back row and shouted, "You're crazy, Dib!"

-:-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-

Her cell phone crackled as she walked across the library courtyard. "We need to do something about it."

His voice, on the other end, replied "Such as?"

"I dunno. Wrap up this fan fiction, I guess?"

"But I don't wanna wrap it up. Besides, THEY aren't done."

"True… maybe everyone will forget about it once it's over."

"Eh… maybe."

"Hey, weren't you keeping track of what those two are up to?"

"Oh yeah, that's why I called. You won't believe this, but…"

-:-;-;-;-;-;-;-;

Dib finally confronted Zim at recess. "I know what you've been doing, Zim! If you think a cartoon will take over the world, you're dumber than I thought!"

Zim chuckled. "Dib, Dib, Dib… don't you see? Haven't you been to that mall-place and seen for yourself?' He pointed to a random teenager that was leaning up against the fence. "I've already won!"

The teenager turned around, revealing a green t-shirt with a conspicuous black-outline image of an undisguised Zim.

Dib was so shocked his hair drooped into his face.

Zim walked away, humming a very familiar, almost militant (in a disturbing, unorthodox way), tune to himself.

Dib continued staring at the Zim-tee, and then it dawned on him. Hadn't he just read a bunch of stories about how much fans liked HIM last night?

A plan began unfolding in Dib's mind. Oh yes, he could play Zim's little game…

But first: "HEY ZIM!" he called to the retreating alien's back.

Zim pivoted, mumbling a confused "whu?"

"Don't you need an email to join your information, DIB, I do have one!"

"Oh, you mean your g-mail?" Dib shouted accusingly. "You have to be invited to get one of those! Who'd invite you, huh? Huh? Huh?"

Zim glanced sheepishly at the ground. "Eh… Keef did."

"Oh." Dib looked nervously around. "Um… yeah. Me too."

There was a pregnant pause, then Zim laughed awkwardly. "Heh, heh… that Keef…"

Dib then kicked Zim in the shins and ran back into school. With the few minutes he had left, he could get something REALLY good going!

-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-

The fourth wall has been officially obliterated.


End file.
